Erase the Middlemen and,skip the Warmup

[dddanny2006]

Erase the Middlemen and,skip the Warmup
We're asked to eliminate Prepositional phrases,Subordinate clauses and other modifiers.

I find it hard when it comes to eliminating sentences,sometimes eliminating more than what is required.Assume we have a phrase headed by a preposition,till where do we eliminate?Also,what if sentences do not contain prepositional phrases,-ing modifiers etc?

Lets consider the sentence

The quality of the new products that ACME Corporation have developed over the past year and that have arrived on retailers' shelves worry many business analysts,who think that the company has lost focus under the new CEO's leadership.

Can you please try and erase off the middle men,the colored portion is my understanding of it .I've cut out prepositional phrases.

The sentence is from an excerpt I found this evening from the Veritas book,I've not posted this question in the General Verbal section because I want to use the Manhattan technique here and thus Im here in the MGMAT Non-Cat verbal folder.

Please help me with this.

Thanks

[jnelson0612]

Erase the Middlemen and,skip the Warmup
We're asked to eliminate Prepositional phrases,Subordinate clauses and other modifiers.

I find it hard when it comes to eliminating sentences,sometimes eliminating more than what is required.Assume we have a phrase headed by a preposition,till where do we eliminate?Also,what if sentences do not contain prepositional phrases,-ing modifiers etc?

Lets consider the sentence

The quality of the new products that ACME Corporation have developed over the past year and that have arrived on retailers' shelves worry many business analysts,who think that the company has lost focus under the new CEO's leadership.

Can you please try and erase off the middle men,the colored portion is my understanding of it .I've cut out prepositional phrases.

The sentence is from an excerpt I found this evening from the Veritas book,I've not posted this question in the General Verbal section because I want to use the Manhattan technique here and thus Im here in the MGMAT Non-Cat verbal folder.

Please help me with this.

Thanks

This actually should belong in the General forum, because this one is more for our books and examples. But anyway, here's how I'd do this one (modifiers in bold):

The quality of the new products that ACME Corporation have developed over the past year and that have arrived on retailers' shelves worry many business analysts,who think that the company has lost focus under the new CEO's leadership.

Thus the core would be:
"The quality of the new products worry business analysts." You can see that there are grammar mistakes here; it should be the quality "worries" business analysts.

I decided to leave "of the new products" in because otherwise it's hard to tell what "quality" is describing. It's kind of like if I were describing the War of 1812; the "of 1812" part is pretty important to the meaning of the sentence. However, if you really want we could strip it down to "the quality worry business analysts" (again, bad grammar).

Does this help a little bit? If you're interested in learning more about this we have a great Advanced Sentence Correction workshop that focuses entirely on stripping out modifiers and getting down to the core of the sentence.

Please let me know if we can help further.

[aflaamM589]

The quality of the new products that ACME Corporation have developed over the past year and that have arrived on retailers' shelves worry many business analysts,who think that the company has lost focus under the new CEO's leadership

dear instructors ,

should'nt it be

products
that ACME Corporation has developed over the past year and
that have arrived on retailers' shelves worry many business analysts,who think that the company has lost focus under the new CEO's leadership

because products is the object of that clause?
Acme corp. has developed the products

Appreciate your help

[aflaamM589]

Is my understanding correct in this one?
Thanks

[tim]

Exactly!

[aflaamM589]

Thanks Tim,
Feeling assured and confident.
God bless ya

[tim]

That's our goal!