Experiencing a writing block? Why don't you try clearing it up in here!
asamanta
 
 

Please rate my AWA - ARGUMENT ESSAY

by asamanta Thu Jun 26, 2008 2:35 am

"Your vacation resort can ill afford not to publicize its offerings on Travelshock.com. Our readership has more than doubled in the past year alone and is dominated by savvy consumers with large disposable incomes. Witness the experience of Snowbert Ski Lodge. Since it began advertising on our website a year ago, it is regularly booked to capacity and its annual profits have increased more than threefold from the previous year."

Explain how logically persuasive you find this argument. In discussing your viewpoint, analyze the arguments line of reasoning and its use of evidence. Also explain......

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The advertising literature of Travelshack.com is not compelling enough to attract clients because it fails to support the literature with statistics and numbers and makes assumptions about Snowbert Ski Logde's improved profitability.

Firstly, the literature only talks about one of its clients, i.e. Snowbert Ski Lodge. The advertisement should represent all of travelshack's clients that advertise on the website, or atleast a major proportion of them. It could simply be that among twenty hotels, logdes and resorts listed, Snowbert Ski Logde is the only one that has shown an improvement in business.

Secondly, the advertisement talks about readership of Travelshack.com doubling but does not indicate numbers. What if the initial readership was five and the new readership is twelve ? Providing numbers would clear the readers of such ambiguity and correctly indicate how many potential clients actually visit the website.

Thirdly, the advertisement mentions that the readership is dominated by savvy consumers with large disposable incomes but does not provide numbers. What constitutes 'large disposable income' needs to be known. This would help the resorts or lodges reading the advertisement to better understand the clientelle visiting website.

Finally, the advertisement assumes that the only reason Snowbert Ski Logde's annual profits have increased is because of the advertisement. It could be that the bookings at Snowbert Ski Lodge have increased due to the introduction on a new health spa or gymnasium at the lodge.

Therefore the advertisement literature is not adequate for hotels and resorts to make a desicion whether to advertise on the website. A more compelling advertisement would provide specifics of the incomes of the clientelle visiting the website, the number of visitors the website had over the last year and probably a listing of other hotels that have advertised on Travelshock.com.
StaceyKoprince
ManhattanGMAT Staff
 
Posts: 9350
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2005 9:05 am
Location: Montreal
 

by StaceyKoprince Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:32 pm

Hi - I just want to make sure you know that instructors don't rate or review essays - see the sticky for this folder if you have any questions. But, of course, you are more than welcome to post and ask for feedback from your peers!
Stacey Koprince
Instructor
Director, Content & Curriculum
ManhattanPrep