SC: modifier issue

[PavanK217]

Hi,

This is a question from Edition 6 of Manhattan SC guide, chapter 10 and problem 2 of Section B Modifiers.

Question and Incorrect version: The principal tried to calm the worried students' parents, as a result of those students fighting at the rally

Corrected version: The principal tried to calm the worried parents of the students who had fought at the rally

My observation is as follows.

I understand the first underline is incorrect.

My concern is with the second underline. As per the explanation provided in the book, 'students' seem to be modifying the present participle 'fighting' in the second underline.

My take on this is that the second underline is still valid. The pronoun 'those' is identifying the students (whose parents are worried) and then phrase 'fighting in the rally' is correctly modifying the noun 'students'.

Please help me in understanding the issue in the second underline.

[esledge]

Hi, sorry for the delayed response. I might not be fully understanding your question (and I don't have the book in front of me so I'm just looking at what you typed), but I'd name a couple of other things wrong with the incorrect version.

Question and Incorrect version: The principal tried to calm the worried students' parents, as a result of those students fighting at the rally

Corrected version: The principal tried to calm the worried parents of the students who had fought at the rally

(1) The cause and effect timeline goes: students fought --> parents are worried --> principal tried to calm parents. As written, the "as a result of" modifies "the principal tried to calm," so this implies the cause and effect timeline: students fought ---> principal tried to calm parents. The order is right, but the middle step is missing.
(2) Wordiness.

You have a point that the students can be modified with "whose" and "fighting". However, "fighting at the rally" has no tense of its own and defaults to the tense of the main verb, implying that the students were still fighting as the principal was trying to calm the parents. "As a result of" seems to imply that the fighting happened first, then the conversation between the principal and parents. Thus, the correct version had to use a modifier with a verb tense in it: principal tried to calm ... parents of students who had fought.

[PavanK217]

Thanks Emily, your explanation was very helpful.

Hi, sorry for the delayed response. I might not be fully understanding your question (and I don't have the book in front of me so I'm just looking at what you typed), but I'd name a couple of other things wrong with the incorrect version.

Question and Incorrect version: The principal tried to calm the worried students' parents, as a result of those students fighting at the rally

Corrected version: The principal tried to calm the worried parents of the students who had fought at the rally

(1) The cause and effect timeline goes: students fought --> parents are worried --> principal tried to calm parents. As written, the "as a result of" modifies "the principal tried to calm," so this implies the cause and effect timeline: students fought ---> principal tried to calm parents. The order is right, but the middle step is missing.
(2) Wordiness.

You have a point that the students can be modified with "whose" and "fighting". However, "fighting at the rally" has no tense of its own and defaults to the tense of the main verb, implying that the students were still fighting as the principal was trying to calm the parents. "As a result of" seems to imply that the fighting happened first, then the conversation between the principal and parents. Thus, the correct version had to use a modifier with a verb tense in it: principal tried to calm ... parents of students who had fought.

[esledge]

You are welcome, PavanK.